Sri Karmayogi says: Never complain of behaviour of any one unless you have the power to change his nature. In short it is other man’s point of view. He says, do not complain.
Complaint is going outside. Actually, the work is inside. All are reflection of our inner. To approach a work or anything from another man point of view is powerful principle for success in life and work. He also adds that- approach from our point of view only generates conflicts and produce low results. To approach the same from another man’s point of view is generative of harmony which is Mother’s aspect and so naturally produces maximum results.
Taking the other man’s point of view is activation Supramental element in mind.
I tried to analyse- what prevents me to activate that. The main culprit being prejudices, assumptions and based on that, judgments I make. Most of the time the conflicts start with some kind of hostility from others. As Sri Karmayogi says the work is inside, I tried to analyse what in me brought this and whether I have those hostilities and those kind of behaviour in me. Without fail all the time the answer was “YES”.
After a long analysis and introspection I zeroed in on the reasons for my hostilities and behaviours. The hostility starts when I am guilty. When any of my action is wrong and particularly if I want to hide that from the knowledge of others. Similarly, when I can’t resolve problem myself and forced to get other’s help by which my ego is disturbed, I’ll be boiling. Other areas are when I have done something against popular beliefs or morality or unfair to other to my benefit or for some selfish reasons and also when someone nearer to finding it. Naturally in all these circumstances I tried to justify my action, rationalize my viewpoints with hostility mostly with anger or non-co-operation.
I was projecting myself through some judgment of on myself thinking that others also judge me in the same way. If there is a significant drop in that, I disagree, have an argument and make upset everyone including myself. Even a car break down or current failure can make me upset and make a mess in given situation
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My hostility is at peak when someone evaluate the given situation different from me or from my opinions particularly if that seems to be correct and if it is thrust upon me, I will do everything and anything to prove that I’m right and others wrong to the extent that it will be a complete failure for others and success for my ego.
Next comes the “defence” mechanisms I have made based on past experience to prevent same situation occurring again even if I feel that it is not rational now, even if I feel bad about them. Particularly where my inadequacy or inability in skill, capacity or knowledge will be exposed. In these circumstances what I do is evaluate or criticize the circumstances or persons to feel more “right’ myself. ….. and the list goes on.
Having found that everything is inside, I started to collect its substance. I have not understood that -as I have ideas or opinions to believe and based that only I evaluate anything or anyone. So does others. Everybody does what they believe is correct. Not wantonly everybody is doing wrong or irritating or provoking us. The ignorance in me is based on my inability or unwillingness to face certain things. All defence mechanisms I have is actually different forms of lying -again unwilling to face certain happenings. Mostly it will be to avoid adhering to higher values, doing more work or more exertion, any emotional displacement like not able to give up small pleasures or persons etc. I may justify it by saying that everybody does it…, I have limitations…, it does not mean anything. It does not make any difference. . etc, innerly knowing very well that I have not lived upto my reputation or integrity or as responsible self. Then I pretend, as if I know everything and its causative effect, including other people’s motivations and feelings- where as in actual everything will be imaginary and after few days, I start believing what I think.
On conclusion I understood that it is common for every human being. So acquired the knowledge that in a given situation even I will behave, the same way others behaved. Sometimes even more badly than that. That made me examine the reality of “true me” with ruthless honesty which revealed my mental ideas, viewpoints, priorities, survival values, to hold the grip and their related prejudices and selfish judgments and evaluations.
